True Recovery

Section 4 - Mindfulness "How" Skills

Education - Mindfulness

Written by Mike

Page 2 of 4 Effectively — All too often, we realize that what we're doing isn't optimal.  Perhaps it doesn't even make sense to us, or it seems like a complete waste of time.  Yet, if we argue about a better way of doing them, or perhaps don't do them at all, we'll wind up in worse shape. Here's an example.  Several months ago, I rode my motorcycle into the city.  I parked between two parallel parked cars, each with a parking meter.  Believe it or not, I parked right in front of one of the meters at a slight angle, part of my bike in one space, the other part in the other space.  Both meters had plenty of time.  I left the bike and returned about 20 minutes later to find a parking ticket.  The car in front of me, left and the meter expired.  The car behind me still had time in the meter and was still in the space.  The parking cop decided that since there's one car with time in the meter, that I must be parked in the empty space, with the expired meter.  To me, it seemed awfully unfair.  A car could have easily parked in the empty space, so I wasn't actually using that space.  Still, it is what it is.  I could have fought the ticket by going to court, I could have paid the ticket, or I might have chosen to simply ignore it.  In the end, I simply paid the ticket, realizing that fairness aside, it takes less time and effort to pay the ticket than it would to fight it.  And ignoring it wouldn't work at all.  That was an Effective solution, but not really what I would consider the "best", "fair" or "right" solution. There's real skill in figuring out when to "push back" and when to simply accept and do.  That's what Effectively is all about.  I've heard Dr. Phil refer to this as "right thinking".  He asked his guests, in a damaged marriage, "Would you rather be right or happy Some people put a negative spin on this concept calling it "giving in" or "selling out".  At times, it can feel this way, in reality, however, sometimes it's simply more effective to do what needs to be done rather than second guessing, and fighting it.  The skill comes in being able to figure out which route to take based on the situation.  The goal is to get it done, not necessarily the way we feel is the "right way" at the time. << Start < Prev 1 2 3 4 Next > End >>

Last Updated ( Wednesday, 18 July 2007 )