Learning Center - DBT Therapy Training

Dialectic Behavioral Therapy Overview

If you want to stop a compulsive behavior you've come to the right place.  I believe there is a tragic flaw in most recovery programs today, which is why the vast majority (92% by some studies) can not stay "sober" for a full year.  Why do the vast majority fail in their attempts to recover?  We believe the answer is simple:  they're trying to fix the wrong thing.  It's very true that the behavior is problematic, even dangerous.  It affects us and the people around us deeply.  But, in our view, they are a symptom of something else.   Focusing on the thing that's most tempting to us is not only a diversion from the underlying issues, but can also keep that temptation alive in our mind. Find out the skills to better manage your emotional states, and you won't feel compelled to do whatever it is you want to stop doing.

Today's more modern approaches including Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) have been used, quite successfully, to treat personality disorders previously believed to be incurable.  Recently, many in the psychology field have been applying this treatment to a wide range of psychological issues with great success.   Those include depression, anxiety, substance abuse and various compulsive disorders.  While I'm not a professional in the field, I have studied CBT and DBT to resolve several issues in my life including a devastating compulsive gambling habit.  I don't consider myself "cured" yet, but do know it's in my future.  This site is dedicated to educating others, like me, who are truly dedicated to ridding ourselves of these damaging behaviors.

There are a number of reasons why we do these self-destructive things over and over again, even knowing how bad it is.  Why do we do it to ourselves?  Because there are things in our lives we simply can't, or don't yet understand how to deal with.  We may have even resigned ourselves to the fact that we'll never be able to resolve them.  For each of us it's something different.  It may be an abusive childhood or relationship, it may have been a traumatic event like war or rape, or quite possibly it's just dissatisfaction with the life we are living, such as an unhappy marriage, unachieved dreams or a chronic depression.

How did we get hooked?  Many of the behaviors began as something social... a feel-good thing.  For example we begin to do things like gambling, shopping, eating, taking drugs or drinking alcohol often for fun and enjoyment.  We associate great times and good feelings with the behavior.  When we're feeling down and can't cope, we desperately want to feel good again so we reach out and cope with the nearest feel-good behavior.  They are an escape and our problems don't exist while we're doing them.  We make an unconscious choice:  face the painful reality of life, or do this fun thing.

At some point, our lives and the stressors become a burden to us.  The more we avoid the issues, the bigger they grow.  They don't go away, they just get worse and eventually snowball out of control.  The worse they get, the more we need to feel good, so we reach more and more for those things.  It's not enough to gamble a hundred or so, we need to gamble with thousands.  A couple of beers with friends isn't enough, we drink all night even alone.  Eventually, these behaviors become so ingrained, we just go on autopilot, we just do it.

We might hit rock-bottom or just see it ahead of us and want to fix it.  We simply just don't know how to go about it.  Studies show that, in any given year, roughly 5% of us are able to stop on our own, with no therapy, no programs, nothing but a personal decision and commitment.  My father was one of those people.  He not only kicked a chronic drinking problem but also kicked a three pack a day smoking habit cold turkey.  Most of us, however, try to stop on our own but fall flat on our faces.  The vast majority of us find a church group or twelve-step program.  There, we find others in the same boat.  People we can share our experiences with and support.  It's nice to know we're not alone and that there's help.  In my opinion, the issue with those types of organizations is that they focus on the behavior and managing urges, rather than learning how to get rid of the urges once and for all.  As I stated above, talking about our addiction or our compulsion can keep those thoughts alive in our mind and at times even act as a temptation. 

I've heard people talk about gambling, alcoholism, drug addiction, eating disorders and many others as if they were incurable diseases which we must constantly work to suppress.  In my view, and the view of many, this can serve as a justification for "falling off the wagon".  Hey, I can't help the fact that I have this disease, I wish it wasn't there but it is.  It's not a disease, it is quite curable, but only if we learn how to effectively manage our own emotions and distress.

Think of your specific behavior as a leak in your ceiling.  Water is dripping down on the floor and your belongings.  Everyone who gets close enough, can see the drip and knows the water is going to cause damage to your floor, furniture and other belongings.  So what do we do?  Clearly, we need to stop the water from messing up our stuff.  We put a pot under the drip to catch the water.  That works for a while, but soon the pot fills up and begins to overflow.  So, we change the pot.  That's what most recovery methods, do. 

Some recovery methods go a little further.  Some try and help us patch the ceiling and paint over the water stain.  The water does stop for a while, but eventually the leak seeps through the patch and begins to drip again.  We learn new, better and quicker methods of changing the pot, without spilling.  We learn how to patch the celling quicker and better, stopping the drip for a little longer.  The water builds up and sooner or later, it is once again dripping on our floor and belongings.  

So, what's the solution?  The real solution is to learn how to find the source of the water.  Is it a hole in the roof, a broken pipe in the ceiling, or something else?  Then, we must learn the skills and get the tools needed to fix the leak.   It's not really that important to know what caused the damage...only that the damage exists, how to find it and how to fix it.  There are no magic pills or quick fixes to remedy issues that have taken us many years to develop.  There are, however, very effective methods of learning those skills to fix whatever leaks might spring in your life.  Once we've learned this, and are able to ingrain them in our minds, we can truly consider ourselves cured.

If you want the quick and dirty, here it is:

• Protect us -- Before we can really get on top of things, we need to be safe.  That means, we need to do whatever is necessary to stop the dangerous behavior.  If we're gambling, we have to find whatever means we can to stop gambling.... at least long enough to start rebuilding.


• Learn new skills -- In today's world there are tons of tools, methods and approaches to handle life better, more effectively.  This site focuses on a Dialectical Behavior Therapy.  DBT provides four key skill sets, with the tools necessary to use them.  Those are: Mindfulness, the ability to see things as they are without being clouded by our assumptions and snap judgments.  Distress Tolerance, the skills necessary to handle stress or triggers without resorting to self-destructive behavior.  Emotion Regulation, the ability to keep your emotional state steady and manageable, this can often reduce or even eliminate hitting those distressing times.  Finally, Interpersonal Effectiveness, which provides us the skills and tools necessary to build strong, positive relationships and improve the ones we have now.


• Practice until it's ingrained -- We know, from our own behavior, how ingrained habits can become.  How many times have you heard substance abusers say they hate the drugs they use?  We may hate our own habits, and know deep down that they're bad for us, but we've been doing them so long that they're ingrained.  Once we learn the new life skills, we need to get past that awkward, unnatural phase, until we use them without thinking.  We did it with the behavior we're trying to fix, we can do it with productive, positive behavior as well.

The next section is: DBT Treatment - Getting Started

< Prev		Next >