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Page 3 of 5 Most researchers believe there's a direct connection between physical sensations and emotions. We may feel tense shoulders, a stiff neck, queasiness or "butterflies" in our stomach. Not only do some emotions come out as physical symptoms, we can actually stimulate different emotions by mimicking those physical symptoms. Think back to Distress Tolerance, where we discussed the "half smile." For me, putting on a "half smile" in the midst of a very tense situation seemed downright silly. Yet, when I tried it, it made a noticeable difference. I find it almost impossible to feel sadness, anger or hatred with even a partial smile on my face. If I'm angry, putting on a full smile stimulates a mischievous feeling, which is not what I'm shooting for. A half-smile, however, seems to interject a feeling of calm or peace. Other resources: Wiki: Physical responses to emotion, Kali Munro: Identifying how you feel Many people confuse accusing judgments of someone or something else as an emotion. The phrases, "I feel abused" or "I feel insulted" are common, yet they're not emotions. If you're up on your English grammar, both of these words are transitive verbs, not adjectives. A tool I use to check is putting the word into the phrase, "Can someone _____ me?" If the answer is yes, then it's a judgment, and can't be an emotion. "Can someone abuse or insult me?" In both cases, the answer is yes it's possible. To figure out what emotion I'm actually feeling, I think about who "abused" or "insulted" me in this case, and ask "How did that make me feel?" Both happy and sad are emotions, and the question, "Can someone happy or sad me?" just doesn't make any sense. Another tool I use to determine whether I'm using an actual emotion word is put the word immediately following the words "I feel", and make sure it's a single word not a phrase. I feel happy (joy). I feel scared (fear). I feel affection (love). I often find myself bypassing the emotion, because I don't recognize it or I'm feeling too vulnerable (fear) to acknowledge it. I can usually recognize this because I've added another word immediately following "I feel". Most of the time I use the word "like". Look at these phrases, which do NOT describe emotions: "I feel like hiding under a rock!" This judgment probably describes fear or shame. "I feel like he's an idiot." This judgment phrase, is probably anger.
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