True Recovery

What good is having a good time if you don't let your self enjoy it?  We've all done it.  We know there's great value in taking care of ourselves on a regular basis, that means creating good experiences for yourself.  None of that will do any good, though, if you don't let yourself experience it.  In this section we'll discuss how to use Mindfulness skills to enjoy the good things you do.  That means opening yourself up to enjoying it, letting yourself know you do deserve it, and not giving in to negative thoughts.

I remember a friend of mine telling me about a trip she took with her husband.  It was his first real vacation, and the first time he'd ever been outside of his home town.  They flew into Florida and spent the night, then caught the cruise ship the following day.  She had a great time; amazed by the sights and scenic beauty.  She loved all the activities, gourmet buffets on the ship; touring and shopping at the many port stops.  He, on the other hand, had an awful time.  Why the difference?  He seemed to feel uncomfortable, outside his "element."  He worried so much about being in a strange place, with people he didn't know, unfamiliar with his surroundings.  The evening they spent in Florida, they ordered pizza delivery from a national chain he knew and watched TV.  While on the ship, he seemed to spend most of his time talking about his worries and fears, including the fact that the cruise would be over in a few days and he'd be back home.

Personally, I do it far too often.  Just the other night I decided to take care of myself and take advantage of a Jacuzzi I have access to.  About 10 minutes into my soak, I caught myself ruminating over other things: worries, concerns, fears, issues with other people in my life.  There I was sitting in a luxurious spa under the moonlight, and I wasn't allowing myself to really take it all in.  I told myself that I've been working hard, and deserved to feel good even for this brief period of time.  I stepped back a moment, and started practicing mindfulness.  I watched the bubbles, heard the sounds.  Off in the distance I could hear the crickets.  I imagined putting those negative thoughts in the steam rising from the spa, and watched them float off into the air.  I did enjoy the soak and felt wonderful the rest of the evening.  The things I was ruminating about were still there, but I didn't let that ruin my experience.

There are a lot of stressful things going on in my life.  They're very real and my feelings about it are valid.  Trying to hide, ignore or deny my own feelings only lead to more stress.  It's cool to be worried about a bill I can't pay.  It's completely reasonable to wonder whether I'll be able to pay for my son's education.  There are issues at work, with co-workers that do exist, they're very real, they're not going away.  I need to address each of these, and all the other stuff going on in my life.  At the same time, letting those thoughts detract from all the wonderful things and experience around me don't help.  In fact, they make things worse.