True Recovery

Most of us with impulse issues or addictions tend to either not acknowledge, or try our best to suppress them.  We can't.  Emotions are an unstoppable force.  The more we try to ignore them, deny them, or hide from them, the more they build up and overwhelm us.  Eventually, we explode.  This is very obvious for those of us with Anger issues.  We try to remain logical, and ignore those irrepressible emotions, but eventually they find their way out at the least opportune time.  Since we're not managing them, and don't understand how to work with the links between all the elements in EJECT, we just allow our emotions to take control of us.

Think of the weather.  When the sky fills with dark clouds, we know it's going to rain.  So, we wear rain gear.  We toss on a rain jacket, pop up an umbrella, go inside.  We know the rain is coming, we accept the fact that we can't stop it, so we do what we can to manage it.  The same applies to emotions.  We have signs all around us, like the dark clouds, that we're feeling (or about to feel) an emotion.  Then, like the rain, we arrive at an emotion.  Without understanding them and managing them, we hand ourselves over to them.

What Good Are Emotions?

Our culture, at least in America, seems to devalue emotions.  We learn from an early age that emotions are bad and lead to problems.  We hear that if we act rationally, and not emotionally, we'll be much better off in life.  During Core Mindfulness, however, we learned that there are some serious drawbacks if we remain in Reasonable Mind and ignore our emotions.  Wise Mind is our idea state of mind.  In that frame of mind, we can think reasonably and analytically, and at the same time acknowledge and factor in our feelings.

From time to time, about once a year, I sit down and write out a list of my goals in life. What I'd like to accomplish while I'm alive.  It changes a little every year, but not that much.  I write out my goals, and prioritize them.  Then under each one, I put what I think I need to do to achieve the goal.  The interesting thing is, the top items always seem to be on the emotional side.  Things like I want to be "Happy" or "Fulfilled".  Sure, I put down material possessions like "own a nice home", accomplishments like "well educated", but for me those are always below or part of living a happy, content life.  Those are emotional goals.

Clearly then, for me, emotions are what makes life worth living.  There's something truly wonderful about a good laugh so I joke with friends and family, watch funny movies, or go to see comedians.  It's not just the positive emotions either.  Each time I ride a rollercoaster, watch a scary or sad movie, hop on my motorcycle or go skiing I'm evoking what many consider negative emotions like fear, pain or sadness.  Positive and negative both factor into my definition of a fulfilled life.  To me, it's what makes life interesting.  I frequently try to learn new skills, like Mindfulness, which can be quite frustrating.  There's value in learning these things, even if they come with frustration.  I accept the frustration as simply part of the process and work through it because I know there's great things on the other side.  Still, it's true that emotions drive my behavior, and those emotions can get the best of me.  I get angry, frustrated, scared at times and find myself in Emotion Mind.  Worse still, I don't always look back at my actions with pride.