True Recovery

In this section, we'll discuss how to improve the moment. That is not to say, how to change what's going on, but rather how to help yourself find the positive in the experience. Remember, there is a big difference between what's happening around you, and your thoughts and feelings about it. Think about getting all dressed up and looking good for an evening out with a romantic interest, good friend or colleague. While waiting for your friend outside, without warning, a thunderstorm dumps buckets of rain on your head. The bare fact is, you're dressed up and it's raining. That's it. There's no sense in even trying to stop the rain. That's what the sky wants to do, and we simply don't have the power to stop it. We can make a mad dash inside and call the person we're meeting. Still, we'll get drenched while running. What we think about getting wet, and the feelings we have about it ARE well within our control. They're our thoughts, so we can change them. They're our feelings, so we can accept them or change them. You'll still be soaking wet, but the water can't stop us from seeing the humor in the situation and smiling about it. Improving the moment is all about reevaluating our thoughts and feelings so we can make the best of even the worst situation.

When reading through this tool, think about what you could do if it's a lengthy crisis, like going preparing for a court date, and you have a few hours or a day. Also think about what you might do, if the crisis were abrupt and short term, like a heated argument. Remember the acronym IMPROVE:

Imagery — Use your imagination and fantasize about something pleasant or enjoyable. I remember years ago, being nervous about my first interview with a big company. I really wanted the job, and was quite freaked out about it. A friend of mine told me to imagine this big intimidating executive, beneath his clothing, was wearing Mickey Mouse boxer shorts. At the time, I laughed, but in the middle of the interview I realized how tense I was, and that visual popped into my mind. I had to hold back a chuckle, and honestly it helped me calm down. Picturing something or "going somewhere" in your mind can help us experience the thoughts and emotions that go along with that vision. Think for a moment, about a very calming or happy time in your life, perhaps a place that you've always enjoyed. In the box below, describe that. Jot down a description on your cheat sheet, or carry a photograph with you. Then in your mind, go there and re-experience some of the emotions you associate with it.